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After reading this entry over, I really could go for some comfort food.

Feb. 1st, 2012 | 07:43 pm
location: US, South Carolina, Cayce, Richland, Zion Ave, 1908

What a loooooong day.

Woke up at 6:30 this morning to watch my boss in action in the courtroom. One of the victims went berserk and a police officer had to get him away from us (would have been cooler if he got arrested... Sorry, I'm a geek for this stuff). After court, I drove to work... Only to spent 2 1/2 hours in a small closet putting together posters for police trainings. This tiny closet wasn't so horrible once I took off my shoes, jacket, and talked myself out of loneliness!

Then I got in a random argument with my boyfriend, which was my fault-- he complained that his parents cut his allowance, so I grew frustrated and snapped things like, "You weren't just born with a silver spoon in your mouth, you were born on a bed of them..."

That statement requires a lot of explaining, but I'm so exhausted...

After work I went to classes, went to my extracurricular clubs, and drove home-- the ride was interesting, to say the least. I grabbed a "stress" cig, but ended up burning a hole in my pants, melting them too... So, in the midst of driving, I opened up a soda and dumped it on my pants.

That's what I get for smoking.

I called my roommate, and she brought a blanket to my car so I wouldn't have to walk inside with holes and wet marks on the crotch of my pants.

She designs costumes, so I let her cut the jeans up for her fabric collection.

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-Taps fingers-

Jan. 30th, 2012 | 09:11 am
location: US, South Carolina, Columbia, Richland, Washington St, 334

I'm at work with 3 more hours of nothing to do-- the lawyers are in Anderson County. Yup.

Just, eh, sittin' here.

Edit: still doing nothing, took a picture of myself being as amused as possible... I'm sure you guys would like to link a face to these words, anyway?

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(no subject)

Jan. 29th, 2012 | 03:16 pm
music: Every Breath You Take // The Police

I love the mornings when I open my bedroom door and my puppy starts spinning wheels, then runs towards me. It's the best thing to wake up to :)

My little Sadie:

The apartment felt like it was missing something, so I checked out the local pound (actually one of the highest killing rates in the United States). I spent equal time with each dog in the kennels, and left to think it over & not make an impulsive decision. I couldn't get this little girl off my mind, so I went back later that day and adopted her. I had never actually adopted a dog before her, always chose pure bred (Schipperke, Scottish Terrier). I wouldn't trade anything in the world for Sadie, I love her with my entire heart. She's my baby <3

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Embracing procrastination!

Jan. 28th, 2012 | 04:55 pm

I'm writing a paper... and finished the first paragraph. This calls for a break!

This morning I was doing my laundry outside of Janel's bedroom, surely believing, "I'm going to make her feel sorry for never listening to me!" Of course this didn't happen, as soon as she opened her bedroom door & I was putting together my laundry, words of apology came spilling out.

Why was I apologizing? What did I have to apologize for? Who knows. I just did, and it cleared the air for her, at least.

So, we went to Target, Staples, & Hobby Lobby. We goofed off, acted like kids (more like teenagers). It was the kind of fun that generates nostalgia... the good kind. Also found that we had a lot of similarities... we love PENS! And overwhelming feelings of inspiration when we see blank paper!

In the midst of these adventures, we stopped at Earth Fare (kind of a baby Whole Foods) & grabbed a bite. I had her try new things, but then internally freaked out because it felt like a date.

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Rambling, in hopes that I find a conclusion.

Jan. 28th, 2012 | 10:31 am
mood: curiouscurious

Yesterday afternoon, Mom called to ask what college fees were, etc., and updated me on the company as well as her boat-searching endeavors. I felt like a squirming little kid, anticipating the moment she asks about my super-productive day at work.

"Well, honey, I've gotta go. I have a nail appointment.

After 17 minutes (yeah yeah, I looked at the phone time) of her rambles: "The business is doing so well! We're expanding!...This boat looks great, we're going to put $X down on it... You know your father and I...myself...my life...", she didn't ask.

Well, maybe she forgot?

I knew she had an appointment, so I wasn't going to be rude, "Hey, Mom, wanna hear a brief about my morning at work?"

"Sorry, honey. I've gotta go to this appointment. How about I call you later?"

"Sure, Mom." But of course I squeezed in a few things because I was excited, "I really impressed my boss today and I'll be in court with her on Wednesday!"

She didn't call me back. Which, you know, is fine. I was just looking forward to the call, that's all. The main point is that it happened again, just with my roommate. For the purposes of this journal I'll call her Janel, since privacy is fun (funfunfun!).

Janel came to the apartment, sat down her things, and I asked her how dinner went with the theater apartment. She filled me in on in, shared the jokes, told me who was there (or at least who I knew of all of them), and the beer she drank. She talked about how she was a beer snob for a while, then how people were discussing how big her boobs were in the theater department... then she started to watch TV. Hah, it was then that I finished my pathetic statements about my day (8.5 hours after Mom's phone call). She didn't seem to give a rat's ass; perhaps she was still feeling wooed by a man she met in the bar, or was still gleaming about the attention she received about her boobs.

My other roomie, Helen (once again, for the purposes of this journal) thinks that I give Janel the benefit of the doubt too often, always making excuses for her: "She's an only child; She only knows how to talk to one person at a time; She just needs a boyfriend..." Truth is, I really give her too many excuses, and I don't know why.

I feel this is an ongoing theme in my life: justifying the actions of others that hurt me the most.

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Writer's Block: ONTD Games Giveaway

Jan. 28th, 2012 | 01:43 am

spyrooo! how i miss those games.
Which video game character would you like to have as your real-life BFF? One random response will win a $60 Amazon gift card! [Full contest rules here.] Don't forget to share your favorite gamer moments on at 3 p.m. PST for Free For All Friday (FFAF).

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Writer's Block: Fairytale Endings

Jan. 28th, 2012 | 01:35 am

What is your version of happily ever after?
A Golden Girls' marathon with an everlasting supply of He'Brew.

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Well, hi there.

Jan. 28th, 2012 | 01:22 am
mood: blankblank

I desperately need this journal.

Where to begin...

I transferred to the University of South Carolina from CSM, after I left St. Mary's College. Yes, I have an extensive undergraduate career-- BUT, that's because I was once, long long ago, a child of classical music. I grew up listening to Strauss and Beethoven, and my grandfather (God bless his soul... wait, God?) gifted me my first keyboard at the age of 7. I cherished every moment with that keyboard, even though I had no idea what the difference between the black and white keys were. At the age of 8, I had my first piano lesson... at 9 my first recital (playing Strauss's Blue Danube) with my cute little feet dangling over the pedals.

Anyway, I left music. After all of those years... who would have known that music was actually my hideaway from years of emotional abuse & witnessed physical and drug abuse. The pain I felt couldn't match what I could portray in the piano (or harp, or french horn for that matter...) It works for some people, I can't argue that. Just not for me.

Long ago I was on vacation in Myrtle Beach. It was that "middle" period where Dad hadn't been abusing drugs, where Mom still had full mobility, my sister just began a beautiful, healthy relationship, and I was experiencing the butterflies of my first love (who is actually married now... frightening). Well, I dislike the beach. So, instead, I spent my week inside, watching the Great Escape.

Seven years later, and I'm back. I learned a lesson or two from that film.

I came here not knowing a soul. I left everything behind-- the chaos.

I am now a Pre-law student at the University of South Carolina. I work as a volunteer intern at the Attorney General's Office.
This is the happiest I have ever felt...

...But, I'm remembering things I never thought had happened.

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